First of all, don’t go all crazy and buy a ton of new clothes because honestly no matter how “great” the quality of clothing, they are all going to become sun bleached, rip, and get holes in them (hand washing isn’t exactly a delicate process for your clothes) that you will then spend your nights trying to “fix”, the result of which will be this uneven mess that in the end you won’t give two shits about.  Just accept that all of your clothes, underwear, and shoes will die here. Accept it and move on.

So with that in mind, this is what I recommend bringing:

-          A good handful of Hanes T-shirts, just make sure they aren’t too form fitting. You don’t need to look like Jabba the Hutt but you do need to be mindful of the culture. Also you need to remember that sexual harassment can be a problem and a way to significantly deter that is to cover up and wear more loose fitting clothes. I know, I know… in a perfect world it shouldn’t/ wouldn’t matter what you wear because everyone would respect you and no one would harass you…but this world is far from perfect.

-          A few button down shirts that you can wear over your t-shirts and are long sleeved but you can roll them up your arms.  These are great and I really wish I brought more of them with me instead of giving mine way before I left.  The trick to dressing here is LAYERING! I wear my t-shirts in the summer because its so hot, but once it starts cooling off I just throw one of these babies on and boom, I’m good to go.  My community is ok with me wearing t-shirts in the summer, but not in the winter. I am expected to cover my arms more in the winter.  I have this great one from H&M that is super light material and covers my butt. It has been a life savior because I walk a lot, and while it is winter and cooler, the sun is still pretty brutal and hot.  The over-shirt is long enough to cover me, but is still light enough so I don’t feel like I am melting.

-          Skirts!  I brought a good amount of long flowing skirts, all purchased for a few bucks at the thrift store.  I wear them all the time and I’m happy that I brought so many of them with me. I wear skirts more than jeans mainly because I live in the dessert and jeans are way too hot to wear.

-          Jeans.  Some PCVs hate wearing long skirts and never wear them, which is totally fine. But keep in mind that if you wear jeans you should then probably wear long enough shirts to cover your butt.  I brought a few pair of site jeans that are looser fitting, and I always wear them with long shirts. I also recommend you bringing a nice pair of jeans for when you go to the big cities and want to dress up.

-          Leggings.  If you are planning on wearing skirts, you need to bring multiple pairs of leggings. I cannot stress this enough.  You really need to wear leggings under skirts because the wind will often times blow your skirt around. Not to mention chaffing of the thighs (nothing is worse!). All of my leggings are so patched up its really ridiculous….and embarrassing.

-          Shirts that cover your butt.  Especially if you plan on wearing jeans. If you are tall, like me, it can be really hard to find long enough shirts so I recommend buying some dress’s that goes down to your knees, but instead of wearing it as a dress you just wear it as a shirt, paired with pants.  This is also great for when you travel to big cities, or to Europe where you can wear them as regular dress’s rather than shirts.

-          A few thermal long sleeves for the winter

-          Winter jacket. I brought a wind breaker for fall weather and also a really thick and long winter jacket. I never use the super thick jacket in site because it’s never that cold, but I have used it when I visit friends up north.  You won’t know where your final site will be so you kind of have to plan accordingly.  This is why layering is so important. Yeah, you may look like that kid from A Christmas Story, you know the scene when the younger brother is going to school and his mom just keeps putting clothes on him and finishes the look with a snow suit that results in him unable to keep his arms down. But hell, he sure looks warm, and you will be too.

-          Socks. Bring a few good pairs. But they are also pretty easy to purchase in country at souk.

-          Underwear/ bra’s. Bring as much as your heart wants, because no matter how many pairs you bring by the end of your first year you are going to be begging your parents to send you more as your nimble little fingers work tirelessly to patch the holes that are inevitable. It’s kind of a sad day in service when you realize you have to start patching up your underwear. But you gotta do what you gotta do. Ya know? Also if you are thinking you will just buy more in country…good luck with that on your “salary” and also I only see men selling women underwear, not exactly an ideal situation.

-          Hoodies/ cardigans. – awesome for your house and for when you go outside to throw on over your t-shirt.

Toiletries:

-          Diva Cup. Resistance is futile.  With the Turkish it’s just so much easier than the other products and you don’t have to worry about what the kids are touching when they go through your trash. And they will go through your trash.  If you’re not into that, just bring it in case you will want to use it later on in service. They are not that expensive.  I would say that almost every women PCV here uses one, and those who didn’t bring one with them had one sent.

-          Lotion!  Dear God, I am so ashy here there is never enough lotion.  Yes you can buy lotion here, but its not very good stuff and very expensive.  SO if you have a brand you really like and won’t be able to live without, bring it. Bring a lot of it.

-          Foot cream. Seriously your feet are about to get nasty with cracks on the heels no matter where your site is. So bring some good foot cream to sooth those babies.

-          Contact solution.  You can buy some in the big cities but it’s really expensive and not that good quality.  I’ve had some sent to me, but it’s a risk because I don’t think you’re supposed to mail liquids. Oops.

-          Contacts. Bring enough for 2 years. PC will not give you any.

-          DEODIRENT – Bring it. Seriously.

-          Floss. PC gives you floss that feels like it will rip your teeth out. I actually use it to sew because it’s a lot stronger then thread.

-          Makeup. Just bring some for when you are in a big city are want to go out or when you go to Europe or someplace and you want to feel a little bit more put together rather than look homeless.

-          Hair ties. I am very particular about mine so I brought a bunch and I’m happy I did.

-          Perfume. I only wear it on special occasions but it’s really nice to have around.  It’ll help keep you sane and feel like a women after months of feeling gross.

-          Nightquill/Dayquill/ musinex – PC will give you a standard medicine box, but it won’t have these medications in it. I’m really happy I brought a ton of them with me.

Backpacks/outdoor gear.

-          Hiking backpack.  A MUST! You are going to travel A LOT around this country and you will need a good hiking backpack.  I’m talking a legit hiking backpack that can take a beating.  I encourage you to find one with a sleeping bag compartment.

-          Sleeping bag.  A MUST! Again, you are going to travel a lot, you need one of these. Get one that is light weight and comes in a compress bag.  No matter where you are, if you have a sleeping bag you’re going to be 10x more comfortable than if you didn’t. Also you can use it as comforter for the winter.

-          Regular backpack. I have this awesome Eddie Bauer and it’s by far the best investment I made before coming to Morocco. It’s very comfortable and can hold a lot and the straps are sturdy so it doesn’t feel like it’s going to break at any moment.  Not only is it great for country, it’s great for when you travel overseas because I can use it as a carry-on.  Seriously, best thing ever. Remember, strong straps are key for your backpack.

-          Hiking hooks. I’m actually not sure what they are really called but I brought a few with me and they are great because I can hook them up to my backpack and attach things to it.  And they are only a few bucks.

-          Shoes. Teva’s or Chaco’s are a must. Teva’s and cool sunglass’s are basically a staple in every PCV attire.  Flip flops for your house and showering, especially when you are in a hotel.  A nice pair of shoes for when you want to party wouldn’t hurt either.

Ok, that is all I can think of right now.  Keep in mind when you are packing your clothes that less really is more.  At the end of the day you will end up wearing the same clothes over and over again because doing your laundry by hand is THE WORST. If you have anything, like an article of clothing that you really like and you wear it all the time, like a hoodie then you should bring that too because chances are you will wear it a lot here at least in your house if not in public.

Also I should mention that my list is based off of my experience here, and I live in a village in the dessert.  All of the new people will be YD volunteers so I’m assuming that the most rural of you will be placed in at least souk towns and cities, rather than full on villages.

Don’t worry about packing too much, you can always ask your family to send you some stuff once you get to your final site.

OH, and don’t forget to check out all the PCV discounts available to you, an addition don’t be afraid to buy your outdoor gear stuff online where it is usually much cheaper, just make sure you do a lot of research before your purchase it.

GOOD LUCK!

Thanksgiving was a great time, a few friends from the north came down to escape the snow.  The PCV couple in my souk town was gracious enough to host Thanksgiving in their house, we had a large good group of people and a ton of food which included a 30lb turkey (AWESOME) and all the traditional sides…plus the fried rice I made.   Yeah, I could have made something more “traditional” but honestly Thanksgiving needs a little bit more diversity.  I did it right this year, by which I mean I took a nap after I ate dinner, then I  ate dessert,  then I took another nap.  The only downfall was the 7km walk back to my other site mates’ house at night. I was whining the whole way how un-American it was to exercise on Thanksgiving.

Work is work. I hate writing about work because I spend so much of my time thinking about work here. So let’s just say that work is work and that’s that. 

This is how I feel every day when I talk to people:

http://whatshouldpcvscallme.tumblr.com/post/37291050859/when-i-dont-understand-someoneve

Also, I have less than 5 months left.  Sometimes it’s hard to believe I’ve been here for around 21 months. But then I look at my feet and realize I can’t remember what my feet clean looked like, and then 21 months seems about right.

I have less than 6 months left in Morocco, my staji is the next to leave.  The past few weeks have been important planning weeks for work for the rest of my service. I’m determined to make the rest of my time here the best of my service, and between Girls Club, Health lessons, and English tutoring, I think it very well may be.

When nothing goes right I have to remind myself that this will not always be my life.  I just take a walk and drink in the beauty that surrounds me and let that heal my wounds.

I sleep on my roof 6 months out of the year because it is just too hot and uncomfortable in my house to sleep during the spring/summer months.  I actually like sleeping on my roof because the stars at night are so beautiful. There is no light pollution (gotta love village life) so I can see everything and on nights when there is a full moon I can read on my roof, it’s pretty awesome.  I have this routine when I go to bed, after I have set up my bed on the roof I listen to Miles Davis (Flamenco Sketches) and count the shooting stars. For those 9 minutes and 25 seconds I am at peace with life and the world. The stars are completely surrounding me and they are the only thing I can see, it feels like the sky is hugging me. I know that when I am back in the states this “routine” I have will rarely happen, and I will miss those 9 minutes and 25 seconds.

I need to discuss one of the best things that I have discovered since moving here.  The MOO-MOO!   I know you are thinking “what? Huh? Why?” well, let me just explain and BLOW YOUR MIND! Yes, I am talking about an actual moo-moo here, all the women wear them inside their houses because it is a light fabric that covers most of your body and is very comfortable.  They are ALWAYS full of color and consist of different flower patterns. You may think that it sounds ugly, but they are really beautiful and fun! It actually looks a lot like this (read: I look like this in my house when I wear my moo-moo, see that smile? Yeah that’s true happiness.):

They are the best thing ever because when it is really hot and you are not dressed appropriately (naked) in your house and someone knocks on your door all you have to do is throw a moo-moo on and BAM! You’re good to answer the door!  Also this moo-moo will save your life when you travel.  Don’t you hate when you are using a communal shower having to put clothes on in the less than desirable shower stall? Well no need to worry anymore just throw the moo-moo on that can double as a towel and walk back to your room, strutting your stuff, knowing that you have beaten the evil communal shower system.  Want to go to the beach but you don’t have enough room to pack a beach towel (cough Ryanair cough)? NO WORRIES! Your moo-moo is so large that it can act as a beach towel! It’s dirty? That’s ok! Your moo-moo is made of ultra-light material that dries in less than an hour!  Basically what I am saying is that Moo-Moos are awesome and in a perfect world everyone would be wearing a moo-moo all the time…and only moo-moos.

It certainly has been a long time since I have last updated this blog. I know, I know…WORST BLOGGER EVER! In my defense though I haven’t really written anything at all in the past 15 months.  Writing for me used to be really soothing and help me to organize everything that is jumbled in my brain, here though it has been really difficult for me. I think maybe because so much has happened and continues to happen I just need more time to reflect before I start writing. Now I’m trying to push myself into writing again. 

SO let’s start off with YES, I am STILL IN MOROCCO! I am now one of the ever elusive and ever so slightly jaded 2^nd year Health Volunteers in Morocco. We are a rare species as our entire program was cut right when we got to country, making us the last health/environment staj in Morocco.  But who’s bitter?

I am not allowed to post the exact name of my village in Morocco, but I think it’s safe enough to tell you that I live in the freaking dessert.  It is hot.  Like there is a “cold front” going through and it is 99.5 in my house right now, and that is indeed cold.  I am learning Tashlheet, an Amazigh (Berber) language. It is hard…. really freaking hard, but I am getting by.  I can talk about the weather like a damn champion!  I am not naïve enough to ever think that I will become fluent in this language. EVER.   But I’m trying, and I can buy food for myself so it could be worse.  Oh and I’m forgetting the English language…I’ve been told that’s a good sign.

I have been here for over 14 months now and I have had countless adventures.  Yes, life can be hard and unyielding and it can feel at times like a constant up-hill battle. But you know what? That’s how I know I’m alive.  Those hard times make you appreciate the times when things  (anything) goes right.  I have learned that what motivates me cannot be the “big projects” but the little things because if only the big things motivated me I would be in a very dark place.  So it’s the small things, something as small as having a successful souk experience, or the first time someone spoke to me in a normal speaking speed and I understood them. That motivates me. Without a doubt I have had some really hard times, here are a few things have helped me through it all. 1) thinking of it all as an adventure, even when shit hits the fan I just take it as another lesson learned, another adventure I’ve lived through. I think if you don’t look at life this way you will just go crazy. 2) My fellow PCVs. Seriously, they are awesome and at the end of the day they are the only ones who really get this crazy life we are living. We are there for each other, and we understand each other. I am so lucky that my staji is full of amazing , crazy, and kind people.  3) Laughing at myself. Oh my gosh do I laugh at myself! ALL THE TIME! Life is funny and bizarre already, add living in a village in the dessert, barley being able to speak the language, and by myself, it’s freaking hilarious.

I just re-read my last post about all the things I freaked out about and I can’t help but laugh at myself.  Everything turned out fine. Why did I ever doubt myself, why was I so worried?   All those things just seem to trivial now, I know that at the time they were big concerns but all those concerns stemmed from doubting myself, not having any confidence in myself that I could do any of this.  After reading that post I can see how much I have already changed as a person in the last 15 months, and I’m really happy I have changed.

That’s all for now, I will try harder to update more.

p.s. My dad was right, on the plane ride over to Morocco the only thought that was going through my mind was “WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!?!!” So here is my advice to anyone out there who is about to embark on an adventure: don’t think about it, just do it.

About a week after I accepted my invite I had this “oh crap wtf did I get myself into!” moment.  I would just have this overwhelming feeling that I was jumping head first into something that I have never done before (oh wait, because I am). And then I would freak out about my own skills and abilities and worry that I won’t be up to par.  I voiced this concern to my roommates (who I know are absolutely sick of hearing me talk about PC and Morocco I AM SORRY!) and they remind me that I have been working towards this for 4 years now, I did a lot during college, am not a complete failure, and to basically STFU about it because I will be fine. I also talked to my dad about it because he joined the Navy when he was 19 or 20 so I thought he would be able to offer some really heartfelt and helpful advice about leaving everything you are used to for something else.  He told me that when I am on the airplane I will be thinking “WHAT THE I DID GET MYSELF IN TO!?!” (he stated this like a fact, like yes I absolutely will be thinking this exact phrase when I board the plane…I’ll let you’ll know in a month if that is true), his advice was to get over it and roll with the punches.  He means be flexible, and he is absolutely right.

Every fear I have I try to logically and realistically think it through.

A)     Learning the language -  I have been assured that even if learning different languages isn’t exactly my forte, that living with the host family and the training will prepare me enough. I have to make sure to just really put myself out there and not be afraid to sound stupid and messing up!

B)      Toilet situation – WHATEVER. I will make do. I’ve traveled to countries that use Turkish toilets too and was just fine…even if it took a little while to get used to.  I also survived Bonnaroo last year and believe me when I say that I have never used a toilet (Western or Turkish style) that has been even half as nasty as those porta potty’s.  I won’t go into detail but let’s just say there were no lights in the porta potty, apparently people can’t aim, and not nearly enough of them for 90,000 people.

C)      Host family –I’m actually really eager to learn as much as I can (language/culture) from the host families I stay with!  I come from a big family so I’m excited!

D)      Scorpions! Ok, this is not really a fear of mine, but many people have been asking my a lot about how I will deal with scorpions. Now let me be clear, i plan on smacking them down like the hand of God.

So I am no longer freaking out. I am nervous, but definitely not freaking out. I’m nervous like the first time I left for college nervous.  It’s funny how much can change in a month.  A month ago I was freaking out, now I am pumped, and in one month I will actually be in Morocco. The closer it gets to departure the more excited I get!  Oh, and just a tad stressed out about packing. My friends and my Dad are right I just have to do what I can now and roll with everything as it happens.  My new mantra is ‘I can do this, I can do this, I can do this’.

When that fails I listen to Jay- Z and all is right again. Judge alllll you want, I still love Jay-Z.

My birthday is in 3 days (whats up 23!) My parents will be flying  in 26 days to help me pack ect.  Staging in Philadelphia is in 34 days.  I will be in Morocco in 35 days. WOW…that just registered.  Crap, i have a lot to do between now and then…like buy a winter jacket. oh, and duck-tape.

While i am preparing to leave i am also trying to really enjoy my time in the States.  I want to create a ‘bucket list’ type of thing of activities to do before i leave so if you have any suggestions…please let me know! So far i have:

1. Eat all of my favorite foods that are not common in Morocco
2. Dim Sum (i know Dim Sum is food but seriously, it deserves it’s own #)
3. Beer. now, i don’t like drinking very much thanks to the ever embarrassing asian glow i get, but since alcohol is not ‘common’ in Morocco (especially in the rural part’s of Morocco where i will be and especially among women) i feel that i should take advantage of beer now.
4. HARRY POTTER WORLD (it was amazing you should all go)
5. Lay by the fountain at UCF with a book and some music.
6. Go Downtown
7. Go see as many movies as i can
8. Take a weekend trip down to south florida to say good-bye to some very old and lovely friends
9. Go to Chicago (I’m going next week!)
10. figure out why Publix subs are so magical and delicious.

I am in the middle of writing my Peace Corps application “timeline”, since i know how helpful those are and i will post that or make a page for it soon!

Saturday Sun- Nick Drake

“Saturday sun came early one morning
In a sky so clear and blue
Saturday sun came without warning
So no-one knew what to do.
Saturday sun brought people and faces
That didn’t seem much in their day
But when I remember those people and places
They were rarely too good in their way.
In their way
In their way
Saturday sun won’t come and see me today.

Think about stories with reason and rhyme
Circling through your brain.
And think about people in their season and time
Returning again and again
And again
And again
And Saturday’s sun has turned to Sunday’s rain.

So Sunday sat in the Saturday sun
And wept for a day gone by. “